I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
