Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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