I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
