I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Did I show you my penis last night?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
