you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
