the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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