Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
