You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
