is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize