i permit you to call me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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