we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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