Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
