well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
