You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
