how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
