It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
did you just send me my own nude
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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