Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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