i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
