i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
