I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Randomize
