i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
