so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
