it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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