just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
