Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
