just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
