HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
