nutella sex= disaster
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize