Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
