oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
