There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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