She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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