sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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