Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
