She said her name was "party"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
