it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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