one two three fourrrrnication!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
