It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
