the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
