Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
