thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
