Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
