i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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