watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize