Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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