i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
