can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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