I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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