then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
