We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
