I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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