no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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