so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
