You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
