dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just want to make out with him forever
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
