So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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