Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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