there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize