You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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